We met online at match.com. With the encouragement of Deb's friends Chrissy & Evan Brodie, Deb jumped into the world of online dating. (Mr. & Mrs. Brodie also met through match.com and got married last July.)
Deb was Ben's first 100% match after searching online for about a week. Deb was born in Philly, PA and bred in New York City.
Ben was Deb's 3rd candidate after 3 weeks of mishap dating; a 97% match. Ben is a transplant from California.
Our first date, March 26th, 2003 was in Chinatown at Sweet-n-Tart (20 Mott Street) and we both wore clothing with similar lavender hues.
When did Deb fall in love with Ben? A couple of weeks later at Golden Unicorn when Deb witnessed Ben eating chicken feet (with gusto) at dim sum with Deb’s friends.
For Ben, a tactile person, it was love at first touch. Deb was wearing a soft silk blouse on their 1st date. Ben even purchased two Ed Tufte's book at Union Square for Deb.
Ben coulda adopted a gentoo or two, but our NYC lifestyle was not feasible for penguins.
Deb settled for a plush African penguin from American Museum of Natural History.
In January 2004 Ben brought Deb home with him on a trip to the Big Island, driving around to see the whole place, meeting folks in the quiet, pretty, green community of Ahualoa.
Last November (after 18 months of being together) we went on a long trip together and we talked about our path down the road.…y'know "the future" talk. Ben asked, "Will we stay like this, boyfriend and girlfriend, seeing each other on weekends and living our DINC (Dual-income-no-children) urban lifestyle for years?" Deb said no, she'd rather be married. Ben said "No point in marrying unless we have kids, and we have no community around us here in NYC to support having a kid." Ben started talking about his hometown of Ahualoa, and the wonderful community there. Somebody brought up the idea of moving there. Moving to Hawai'i, moving in together, getting married and having a kid all fit together in a sudden blast of realization. Deb decided that Hawaii was a great place for her soul and to raise 1.5 kids.
So, the next step was clearly to go through the engagement ritual.
Again, with our friends Chrissy & Evan, all 4 of us shopped for Deb's engagement ring online at bluenile.com.
Ben formally proposed (down on 1 knee!) on November 9th, 2004 at Deb's NYC apartment.
Ben: "Deborah Pun, will you marry me?" (holds a glittering diamond ring)
Deb: (huge grin) "Yes, Ben Discoe, I will marry you!" (slips the ring on Her Finger)
We kept our jobs and our apartments for the next 6 months, the went through a crazy, stressful odyssey of shipping, packing, taping, moving, battling postal bureaucracy, uprooting our lives and leaping into the future. For Deb, it was a great leap of trust and faith into the unknown. For Ben, it was coming home.
Our first idea of where to hold the wedding was Kapa'a County Park. We finally visited it ourselves - beautiful, but Very Hot. Deb came up with the idea of switching to the Waimea Nature Park - Ulu La'au. She knew the park with expansive green lawns from her first visit to Hawai'i. Ben thought it was a great idea as it is a beautiful place. He loves the park and is an enthusiastic supporter and volunteer there. We got the green light from the park folks, Richard and Carol, and set about changing our plans and hoping for sunshine.