You have two cows. Your lord owns the pasture. The lord takes some of the milk and makes you work for him part-time.
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires a racially pure neighbor to take care of them, and shoots you.
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to protect your cows and take some of the milk.
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
You have two cows. The gang with the most guns steals them from you.
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Note: this humor came from the page:
but it seems to have vanished.